I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot.
you dont want to live with me, im always naked, a chronic masturbator, a bit of a voyeur and will likely touch you while you sleep. ps- i can pick locks
I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
I'd love to come and give you a massage, but we already duck taped my keys to the ceiling...
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
Randomize
