my breakfast just consisted of gushers (made with real fruit!) and they're trying to tell me im not eating right?
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
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