She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
Me and allie were just offered cocaine by a strange man in a women's bathroom. Why have I not lived in Austin my whole life?
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
Randomize