YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
I’m turning 34 on Friday and I feel like the only thing I’ve accomplished in life so far is getting into pissing matches with clients
Randomize
