YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
I have a taco in my pocket for later because I am a practical drunk
Two ladies just showed up with my fucking purse. It was in the fucking street. I'm a train wreck. As a financial advisor, this shouldn't happen. I should be an adult.
I have bruises all over my body. Seriously, I'm a train wreck. I'm too damn old for hangovers like this.
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
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