You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
The nurse who handed me my discharge papers underlined and highlighted do not consume alcohol while on my painkiller its like she knows me.
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
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