You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
I came out of bedroom with my jeans on backwards, zipped AND buttoned. I have inconceivable talents whilst intoxicated.
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
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