I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
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