i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
I have a pocket in my purse that is just for condoms and cocktail swords. I feel like that speaks volumes about me as a person
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
Randomize
