you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
Do you remember some guy walking around the club saying "boner patrol" and smacking people in the dick?
Yeah, that was you
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
In other news, I'm pretty sure my mom was encouraging me to have a threesome yesterday... I don't even want to start digging in that garden of horror and trauma.
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
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