my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
We're the worst. Two people without their shit together do not make a functional adult.
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
Randomize
