That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
I'm walking down the street with a Starbucks in one hand and a flask in the other. People seem to have a staring problem
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
Randomize
