I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
Randomize
