I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
it's great music for shaving your balls
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
Randomize
