yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
he's my edward cullen
I am pretty sure Edward Cullen never had an all-day drinking binge topped off with some blow.
does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
Pretty sure one of my drivers stopped to get laid while he was delivering a pizza. Is it appropriate to give him a write-up AND a high-five?
Randomize