hotel room ftw
Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
i just defriended some girl because according to her status she "doesn't give a fuck about shark week."
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
Sorry my phone died. Obviously four o'clock in the morning is a good time to tell you this.
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
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