She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
In other news, I'm pretty sure my mom was encouraging me to have a threesome yesterday... I don't even want to start digging in that garden of horror and trauma.
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
Randomize
