Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
Randomize
