I was just walking through Burbank and saw a hobo using solar panels on his shopping cart. We must be in trouble if the hobos are researching alternative sources of fuel...
i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
Randomize
