i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
I've blown a few things in my day
I caught myself masturbating while watching a baseball game today. It was over before I realized what was going on. And then I was just confused.
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
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