where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
Thanks for the three minutes of sex tonight.
So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
turns out that the cat the james was trying to catch was a raccoon. call me when you get this, i need an ER buddy
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
It's all part of my master plan: have him buy me all I can eat pizza and all I can drink beer AND THEN tell him there was no spark and we're better off as friends.
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
Randomize
