talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
I know you're asleep, but I just had a motherfucking epiphany.
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
I swear to god if you keep eating my cats food drunk I am going to kick you out of our apartment.
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
Randomize
