is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
Oh and it’s been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! 😂😂😂😬😳😇
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