Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
38 yer olds are good kisserssss
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
You'd be proud. Took my birth control today at 12:30 with a Budweiser. Guy across the bar saw and held his bottle up to salute me 😂
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
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