I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
Stop trying to get me to choose vodka over a nap
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
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