the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
Dashing through the vodka, in a tinder swiping rage, all the fuck boys get a no, laughing all the way.
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
Randomize
