This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
I think I am calling out of work due to a hangover. I'm 96% sure there ISN'T tampon stuck inside me.
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
Randomize
