I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
Just woke up next to a girl with 30 hot dogs in my bed. Vodka you win again.
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
You know you're good at multi-tasking if you can get a lap dance from someone while simultaneously eating a burrito.
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
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