when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
I'm eating oreos and watching porn. This is your fault.
In a world where you don't want your phone to pocket dial your parents at 2 in the morning while you're running around Florida shitfaced, Droid does.
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
Randomize
