eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
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