You picked a bad night to stay in. ____ caught her hair on fire in ____'s birthday cake.
She had to stop drop and roll while two other girls beat the flames out. She might have a black eye
My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
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