I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
I knew the only reason I bought a smartphone was to play "You're Havin My Baby" on the way to cvs to buy Plan B.
You know what's worse than asking for the morning after pill? Asking for the morning after pill in a sketchy hospital in a foreign country where no one speaks English.
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
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