:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
I found my laptop, credit card, and a bottle of Morgan all on the counter this morning. I'm scared to see what gets delivered to my house this week.
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
Randomize
