just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
This is the high leading the old right now
Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
I just watched your sister pour half a bottle of cotton candy flavored snow cone syrup into a bottle of marshmallow flavored vodka, take a swig, frown, and pour a cherry coke in.
Just wait until she offers you a "powerita"
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
My whole life is a joke
Yeah. I’m starting to see why you drink so much.
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
Randomize
