Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
I just puked in a chili’s bathroom... happy birthday to me
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
Yeah but now he has a wife. It’s going to be different this year
So what. We’ve banged every Thanksgiving since high school. She just has to understand it’s a holiday tradition
Randomize
