I changed my tire completely alone.. I could totally win survivor
Its my greatest physical accomplishment
Nothing commands respect in a meeting like Jack Daniels on the breath. You're fine.
I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
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