We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
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