so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
Randomize
