The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
There is a man playing a trumpet at this brunch and I hate life. Too hungover for this. Send help ASAP.
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
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