two words: eviction party
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
In two separate occurrences, I could have avoided getting my heart broken, and chlamydia, all with a left swipe.
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
Randomize
