what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
John Mayer's mother should have swallowed him when she had the chance.
As in blowjob or cannibalism?
I was thinking blowjob, but either would've been a better idea than giving him a record deal.
you told the cop you blew a .08 because you ate poppy seeds
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
I like being woken up by phone calls of you sabotaging marriages
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
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