Changing from sweatpants to jeans at 3 in the afternoon makes the day seem so much more productive than it actually was.
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
Randomize
