i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
he said he wanted to butter my pancake. i thought it was sexual, but he went downstairs and made pancakes. i need to stop dating fat guys.
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
Emergency! LinkedIn connected me to a hotornot hookup from sophomore year... slutty phase sphere has officially invaded grown up professional sphere. My illusions of interweb sexual anonymity have been exploded.
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
Randomize
