I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
people are starting to question the shark bite story
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
well, you know. whores of a feather.
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
Randomize
