Swine flu. Run for my life!
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
Sorry I didn't call this morning. Ended up with a decorated war veteran last night who besides finding the enemy, KNEW where the fuck my G spot was. He gets a medal in my book!
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
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