i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
Probably for the best. My morning wood is pretty horrible. I wouldn't want to tip the earth's axis/ create a new magnetic pole
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
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