I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
I drove to my yoga class while eating a piece of bacon. Wow. I see myself in a whole new light.
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
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