I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
He said he'd prefer a photo rather than discuss politics, I sent him a snapchat "conservative shorts 4 conservative man". He said "be liberal"
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
Got pulled over today for going 90 in a 40 zone with my leg out of the window. Still got out of the ticket. I'm getting way too good at this. Wanna trade bodies so we can see if it's my boobs or my charm?
My life is pants optional.
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
Randomize
