I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
two words...techno handjob
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
I woke up in a warehouse with the words “Property of Adam” written on my chest in frosting.
Randomize
