Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
tell me about the eggs
Did you get good sleep?
I dreamt that I was a lipstick lesbian in the 1950s, working at Walgreens and solving mysteries.
So yes.
Randomize
