You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
Whoa. I woke up to 10 new text messages. All about bacon.
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
Oh they knew you from a bachelorette party! You were the pole?
Ohhh shit yeah that was me. Fuck. I hate myself when I do that.
Crap I still need to get you a wedding gift. I'm just gonna give you a bag full of cash, lube, and condoms. And I'll use furry handcuffs instead of ribbon to tie the gift bag handles together.
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
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