ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
I was the king of the handle race. My team finished it in 56 minutes.
you don't get it. Nobody wins a handle race. there just degrees of losing.
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
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