at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
Benefits of having to stay in jail for the weekend: learned how to make my own make up out of colored pencils. Also how to make use of toothpaste for hair products. Downfall was probably getting hit on by a murderer. Only me.
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
Randomize
