member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
She got her phone back last night. And the first thing I sent her was a picture of me pooping in a culvers bathroom
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
Randomize
