so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
You're earring is so big in my mouth
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
If you invite me to a bar tonight my liver will kick you in the testicles
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
Emoji's do wonders when you actually have nothing at all to say..
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
Just left the ER. Only good thing... my hot ass nurse Carlos stripped me.
God works in mysterious ways.
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
Randomize
