Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
Randomize
