You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
I thought you should know that you passed out in your trash can last night.
Thanks for throwing up on me.
who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
I'm babysitting and we're watching Barney and I don't understand why Barney can magically make band hats appear but he makes them make shitty ass instruments.
Barney's a jerk
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
I duct taped a bottle of vodka to the back of your closet while you were sleeping in case of emergencies. Go rip it off, it's going to be a long night.
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